18 March 2020

If I am not for myself, who is for me?

If I am only for myself, what am I?

If not now, then when?




'She Writes At Her DESK' - is my tag, it is as it is, there is a large part of me that doesn't really believe adding my name is a necessity, as just another face in the crowd, it wont change my words.  Yet hey, while I've purposefully never used my real name, instead those who know me, have always called me, KosieT. 


However, the reason I've never used my real name has been a quest for self-preservation.  This is the 21st Century, Elitism must die, if mankind is going to live.  I know this absolutely, the world is being ruled by a tiny merciless few, who care nothing for The People, beyond our lands and our planets resources.  It's why my logo is a crown, my loathing for the royals is very real, I view Elizabeth II as the Satanic High Priestess of all Destruction, while my contempt for the British Class System is as great as the global remonstration against paedophilia and child sex trafficking.


So passionate, to the understanding that 'while there is a lower class, we are in it, while there is a criminal element, we are of it, while there is a soul in prison, we are not free.' Willing to die for my conviction, alas, having to stand up and admit to being the uber rebellious daughter of an English Lord and Banking king, with a two-bit title before my name - obviously, doesn't really cut it, when you're hoping to become the 21st Century, female equivalent to Che Guevara.

Yet hey, maybe, it is that my privileged insight is my greatest asset.  Certainly, I am fully aware of the manipulation that shapes society, just as the working classes, have been programmed to believe they're fortunate to have a State education, allowing them to be graciously bestowed with a job. From the moment I was born, I too was subjected to the social programming that demanded that my birth right made me somehow 'better than others.' While to my credit, I remained indignant to the consideration. It is only endless MK Ultra like mind fuckery, through years of private education and not being allowed to play with the village kids, that can produce a man so convinced of his superiority, that he can call slaughter on the masses.  Whether this is in war or business; the moulding of heartless sociopathic men of power remains a process.

We can laugh, but do not be fooled, men from backgrounds as grand and as affluent as mine, should not be allowed positions of power in either state or corporate industry, for in reality they are as ignorant to the struggles of real life, as the working classes are of the subtle social niceties that maintain, and prevent so deemed pretenders entering their impenetrable Elite club.


While my own refusal to be moulded to the pomposity, my insubordinant struggle to conform to what was expected of me and overriding creative nature, obviously, ruled me as the child from hell.  Yet, while my story remains a curious example of 'how not to get ahead' that ultimately, had me written out of my inheritance on the basis that I might blow it.  It is with thanks to the drug industry, a penchant for wild working class musicians, and travelling, that I've lived a very different life.  Certainly, it is through the vast heart of the working, drinking and gangster classes, that I've learnt not only the blessings of an unconditional love, never afforded me in my youth, but also, I can add there is little I haven't done.  Certainly, from fucking up time and time again, I am rich with empathy.


And while, bringing up my son as a single mother on Income Support, without the support of a family, was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was the unrelenting kindness of those that had nothing and still shared it, that saw me through. It is as it is, my life is an example of what John Steinbeck said, "If you're in trouble, hurt or in need - go to the poor people. They're the only ones that'll help - the only ones." Certainly, today, I no longer recognise the woman I used to be, but nor do I understand, those that aspire to the life I was born to, when common community contains a wealth that can never be rivalled.


Still, while the extremities of my life's experience, coupled with whatever creative success I've achieved, allow me a voice.  It has always been my fascination with the esoteric and the unknowable that has remained the driving force. Subsequently, in the pursuit of greater spiritual understanding, I've spent much of my life living on the very edge of contemporary existence.  Like the observer, quietly watching, removed, seperated from the thick of it, I've lived as a witness, quiet on the fence, discerning to both pastures.  However, while it is fair to say, that an encompassing knowledge derived from eating off gold plates to sleeping on the streets, has afforded me an aptitude for realism. 

All I truly know, is that the masses need to be heard. That, The People need to remember that without 'US' the Queen, Rupert Murdoch, all the bastard Banker's and Corporate fucker's are no one. That, if We, The People choose to end the forever years of global supression, and the ever growing divide between rich and poor.  All we have to do, is together in unity, remove our money from the banks, cancel our subscriptions to Sky, stop paying our taxes, and within a single day, We, The People could bring down not only Industries, but the entire System, duly crippling the fundamentally unworthy Elite, and the New World Order that rule us. 


Alas, if we don't do this soon, the ambition to turn us into a cashless society will be real, once this happens, We, The People loose all our power; we will be completely enslaved.


It is as it is, unity not separateness is our key, but hey, as I said, I'm the dreamer...


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